The Making of a Mother

Sourdough mother, that is.  Since I’ve yet to unearth the kindly, rosy-cheeked soul who will give me some of the sourdough mother that has been passed down in their family for years (I know you’re out there. I know you probably do awesome things like can tomatoes and make jam and use real lard and butter in your pie crust, and once I meet you you will be my idol), I picked up a packet of Goldrush “Old Fashioned San Francisco Style Sourdough Starter,” mixed it with flour and warm water, and left it to sit in a warm corner of my kitchen until four hours pass and it’s time for the initial “feeding.”

This isn’t my first attempt at creating a mother.  The last time I tried it with flour and water and poorly-executed directions from a Julia Child rerun. It languished on the counter a few days, and didn’t do anything it was supposed to do except make cleaning the crusty little bowl a total pain in the rear.

I’m determined to have real results this time, but became a little skeptical when I saw that the Goldrush starter is actually produced by a company in San Jose, which is about 50 miles from San Francisco. “Close but no cigar,” my dad would say. And if this little experiment produces zero bubbles and no yeasty aromas, I’ll get to hear “tough beans, hard cheese.” So fingers crossed.  And to my dear, dear friend out there with a real, years-old, time-proofed starter: I’ll find you someday.  Someday.

Targeted? How?

There usually aren’t mind games associated with the targeted ads you see on Facebook, at least in my experience.  In a relationship?  Get ready to be inundated with engagement ring photos. Like a documentary? Here are suggestions for other films, maybe a few festivals. Recently graduated? Click on this to read a few (a zillion) articles about how you’ll never find a job in this economy.  Just got married?  Within a few seconds, Facebook will throw out some extremely unsubtle hints for where to buy diapers and cocoa butter in bulk, on the cheap.

However, I can’t for the life of me figure out what in my profile, comments, likes, general aura inspired these brilliant ads to show up on the sidebar earlier today:

Thoughts and suggestions are much appreciated. Also, a fleshy palmful of babies is a rather ill-advised enticement for inspiring me to get my ultrasound tech degree online. A kid getting smacked by fat (in slow motion!!!) on the other hand…